Now in Fast-Acting Release capsules
Happy Housewife®
Urban Tranquility Pill · 500 mg capsules
Are the troubles of being a modern housewife becoming too cumbersome? Is the cooking, cleaning and the baby becoming too much? Are illegal drugs just too expensive? Kamikaze Pharmaceuticals is proud to introduce the Happy Housewife Urban Tranquility Pill.
As seen on FedNet
Hey there, you look a little down.
Patient Self-Assessment
Is Happy Housewife right for you?
Fast-Acting Release
From 2:14 to 2:19.
The new Happy Housewife Fast-Acting Release capsule dissolves in under five minutes. Our competitors would very much like to know how. That is why one of them tried to buy us.
- 2:14 PM Take one capsule by mouth.
- 2:15 PM The capsule begins to dissolve. So do your concerns.
- 2:17 PM Colors.
- 2:19 PM Dancing.
How to take Happy Housewife
- 1 capsuleby mouth, whenever it all gets to be too much
- 9,000capsules per bottle
- Unlimitedrefills
- 500 mgof whatever we had
Savings Program
Pay as little as $0.*
Present the Happy Housewife Savings Card at any pharmacy that will take it. No enrollment, no forms, no questions asked, and no answers given.
*You will pay something.
Happy Housewife® Savings Card
- RxBIN
- 001994
- RxPCN
- KMKZ
- RxGRP
- HAPPY
- ID
- HOUSEWIFE
Not insurance. Not valid. Not available anywhere.
For Healthcare Professionals
Full Prescribing Information
1 Indications and Usage
Happy Housewife is indicated for the troubles of being a modern housewife, including but not limited to cooking, cleaning, the baby, and the cost of illegal drugs.
2 Dosage and Administration
One 500 mg capsule by mouth whenever it all gets to be too much. If it is still too much, see Dosage and Administration.
3 Composition
A proprietary mixture of Prozac, Valium, Xanax, horse tranquilizers and many other well-known sedatives and antidepressants. The other ingredients are proprietary to the horse.
4 Contraindications
None known. None looked for.
5 Warnings
Do not operate heavy machinery, light machinery or a household.
6 Adverse Reactions
In clinical testing, rats experienced gonorrhea, diarrhea, chlamydia, herpes and lung cancer, and in some rare cases blurry vision, double vision, tunnel vision, no vision, television and X-ray vision. Also triskaidekaphobia, chlorophobia, arachnophobia and the irrational fear of clowns.
7 Clinical Pharmacology
The mechanism of action is unknown. Our lawyers have asked us to stop guessing.
8 Overdosage
Not possible. Our Clinical Research department tried.
Medication Guide
- What is the most important information I should know about Happy Housewife?
- That it works.
- How will I know Happy Housewife is working?
- You will be dancing. If you are not dancing, wait until 2:19.
- What should I avoid while taking Happy Housewife?
- Stairs, decisions and the Brawndo Corporation.
- What if I miss a dose?
- You will know.